The first Christmas after a separation is hard on everyone, and it is hardest on the children. Between custody schedules, travel plans, and an ex you may barely be speaking to, it is easy for the holidays to turn into one more fight. With some planning, they don’t have to.
This guide covers what Georgia law expects from your holiday schedule, what to do if your divorce isn’t final yet, and practical ways to keep the season about your kids.
Start With Your Parenting Plan
In Georgia, every final custody order includes a parenting plan, and that plan has to address how the children will spend holidays and school breaks. Before you make any promises to family, read yours. Look for:
- Who has the children on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, and at what times exchanges happen
- How winter break from school is divided
- Whether the schedule alternates between even and odd years
- Any notice requirements for out-of-state travel
If something is unclear, raise it with the other parent early. Courts take a dim view of parents who wait until the week before Christmas and then file emergency motions.
If Your Divorce Isn’t Final Yet
Many families spend a first Christmas while the case is still pending. If there is a temporary order, follow it. If there isn’t one, try to agree on a written holiday schedule with the other parent, ideally through your attorneys or in mediation, so everyone knows the plan. In Clarke and Oconee Counties (the Western Circuit), mediation is required in divorce cases, and holiday time is a common topic to settle there.
Keep in mind that Georgia judges decide custody based on the best interests of the child. How each parent handles the holidays, including whether they cooperate or create conflict, can come up later.
Common Holiday Schedules
There is no single right arrangement. Families in Northeast Georgia commonly use one of these:
- Alternating years: one parent has Christmas in even years, the other in odd years.
- Splitting the day: one parent has Christmas Eve through Christmas morning; the other has Christmas afternoon through the next day.
- Splitting the break: winter break is divided in half, with the halves alternating each year.
- Fixed holidays: each parent keeps the same holiday every year, which works well when families have different traditions.
Whatever you choose, put exchange times and locations in writing.
Let the Children Be Heard (Without Putting Them in the Middle)
Ask your kids which traditions matter most to them. Even young children can be attached to a particular ornament, meal, or Christmas morning routine. Their answers can help you keep what matters and let go of what doesn’t.
What you should not do is ask them to choose between parents or carry messages between homes. Under Georgia law, a child 14 or older can choose which parent to live with, subject to the judge’s review, and a judge may consider the wishes of a child between 11 and 13. Holidays are not the time to start that conversation.
Plan Ahead and Communicate Clearly
- Make a shared holiday calendar with exchange times, travel, school events, and gift-opening plans.
- Agree on gift budgets for large items so one home doesn’t try to outdo the other.
- Use a co-parenting app or email so plans are in writing and tone stays businesslike.
- Don’t argue about money, schedules, or the divorce in front of the children.
Create New Traditions
Some old traditions won’t survive the divorce, and that’s okay. Starting something new, such as a special breakfast, a drive to see Christmas lights in Athens, or a volunteer project, gives children something to look forward to in each home.
Take Care of Yourself
If you will be without your children for part of the holiday, plan for it. Spend time with friends or family, keep busy, and lean on your support network. A counselor can help, too. Children notice when a parent is stretched thin, and taking care of yourself helps you be present when they are with you.
When the Other Parent Won’t Follow the Order
If the other parent refuses to follow the holiday schedule in a court order, keep a record of what happened and avoid confrontations in front of the children. Georgia courts can enforce custody orders through contempt, and repeated violations can support a request to modify custody. Learn more about contempt actions in Athens and modifying a custody order.
Related Reading
- Thanksgiving and Child Custody Tips
- The Importance of a Parenting Plan in Georgia
- Co-Parenting With an Ex When You Don’t Get Along
Talk With an Athens Family Law Attorney
If you have questions about a holiday schedule, a temporary order, or a parent who won’t follow the plan, attorney Samuel Thomas can help. Learn about our child custody practice or book a free consultation.
